What a triumph for us all. And I do mean all, not just those of us who happen to be gay.
I can’t stop thinking about my dear mother Ann, who died in 2012 at the age of 97. I have no doubt my mother loved me. And it was a gift that as she aged, I — along with my wife, KT — was able to help her live with grace and dignity. We moved to Florida in 2009 from San Francisco in large part to be closer to her and other family members.
But there was always an unspoken chasm between us. While it was abundantly clear to her how happy and fulfilled I was from the day I met KT, she never was able to fully embrace our relationship. For the simple reason that to her death, my mother on some level blamed herself that I “ended up” gay. She was convinced she had failed me in some way.
If my mother were alive today, I imagine the Supreme Court’s decision would have been a great gift for her. It would have given her resounding outside validation that we are all — and again, I do mean all — equal under the law. That’s not some magical thinking borne of my desire for my mother to accept me for me. What was always hurtful to me was that she was so unaccepting of herself; her judging her failure as a parent because I was gay.
No amount of my personal success and happiness could convince her that I was no different than my (straight) brothers. But the Supreme Court’s validation of gay marriage just might have given her the space to accept that there was nothing wrong, or different, about me, and thus nothing she ever should have blamed herself for.
There is much to celebrate in the Supreme Court’s decision. For all the parents who love their gay child, but like my mother have struggled to fully embrace that reality, I hope the Supreme Court’s decision finally gives you some peace of mind. We are all equal. Our highest court says so. You can stop judging yourself, and just get down to the business of loving yourself, and your children, unequivocally.
Suze Orman is a award winning certified financial planner and author of several books including 'The Road to Wealth'. She went from being a waitress at age 30, making $400 a month, to now having her own TV show and a net worth of $30 million dollars.
