Suze Orman mom blamed herself for her daughter orientation

Finally. No more “gay “marriage. The Supreme Court’s momentous ruling makes that odd clarifier unnecessary, as the sexual orientation of a couple that chooses to marry has no bearing on their legal and financial rights.

What a triumph for us all. And I do mean all, not just those of us who happen to be gay. 

I can’t stop thinking about my dear mother Ann, who died in 2012 at the age of 97. I have no doubt my mother loved me. And it was a gift that as she aged, I — along with my wife, KT — was able to help her live with grace and dignity. We moved to Florida in 2009 from San Francisco in large part to be closer to her and other family members.

But there was always an unspoken chasm between us. While it was abundantly clear to her how happy and fulfilled I was from the day I met KT, she never was able to fully embrace our relationship. For the simple reason that to her death, my mother on some level blamed herself that I “ended up” gay. She was convinced she had failed me in some way.

As personal as that lifelong disconnect was, I know it is one that is all too common for many gay families. Love, with an asterisk.

If my mother were alive today, I imagine the Supreme Court’s decision would have been a great gift for her. It would have given her resounding outside validation that we are all — and again, I do mean all — equal under the law. That’s not some magical thinking borne of my desire for my mother to accept me for me. What was always hurtful to me was that she was so unaccepting of herself; her judging her failure as a parent because I was gay. 


No amount of my personal success and happiness could convince her that I was no different than my (straight) brothers. But the Supreme Court’s validation of gay marriage just might have given her the space to accept that there was nothing wrong, or different, about me, and thus nothing she ever should have blamed herself for. 

There is much to celebrate in the Supreme Court’s decision. For all the parents who love their gay child, but like my mother have struggled to fully embrace that reality, I hope the Supreme Court’s decision finally gives you some peace of mind. We are all equal. Our highest court says so. You can stop judging yourself, and just get down to the business of loving yourself, and your children, unequivocally.

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Suze Orman is a award winning certified financial planner and author of several books including 'The Road to Wealth'. She went from being a waitress at age 30, making $400 a month, to now having her own TV show and a net worth of $30 million dollars.

Suze Orman tips for college students

Forget all the commencement speeches about your dreaming big, not compromising, and following your passion. That’s all terrific advice, but not nearly as important as the nuts and bolts of four make-or-break financial moves every college grad needs to make ASAP:

-    Get On Top of Your Student Loans. Yes, you have a six-month grace period before repayment of federal loans must begin. Don’t you dare wait five months and three weeks before focusing on this. Screw up on repayment is one of the most damaging mistakes you can ever make, and it becomes both hard and expensive to get on track if you fall behind.

-    Make Sure You Have Health Insurance. If you haven’t yet started a job with benefits, or you’re taking a gap year, please don’t go naked here. Yes, the odds are low you might get sick, but insurance is about protecting yourself from the big “what ifs.” Besides, it’s not just about illness; any type of injury can set you back, from a broken bone to a torn ACL. If your parents have health insurance from an employer they should be able to carry you on that policy until you are 26, for a cost. Ask them to find out the cost, then compare it to what you can purchase for yourself (Go to healthcare.gov). If you and your parents decide it’s best to go with their plan, and you have a paying job, you should pay your share of their premium, or at the very least contribute. You’re their kid, but you are also an adult now.

-    Get a Credit Card…if You Don’t Already Have One. As much as I applaud using just a debit card-paying as you go, rather than being tempted to overspend with a credit card-it still is important to have a credit card as well. The goal is to use it just a few times each month-for small purchases. And then pay your  bill, in full, each month. Doing that is going to go a long way in establishing a solid credit score.

- Automate Savings ASAP. Okay, you know how I feel about the emergency fund. And you know how I feel about saving for retirement. Both are non-negotiable Must Do’s-and the sooner the smarter. I respect you may not have a big income just yet. But please listen to me:  that’s not an excuse for doing nothing. You need to do something-save something-every month.

- Emergency Savings: Set up an automatic monthly transfer (it should be free) from your checking account into a separate savings account. How much? Well, how much feels right? Then add 10% to that number. That’s my challenge. Just try it for six months. I think you will surprise yourself at how doable it is, and how powerful it feels to start building an emergency savings account.

- Retirement Savings:If you are offered a workplace retirement plan that comes with a company matching contribution, you better grab it. Be sure to confirm that you are contributing enough to qualify for the maximum match from your boss. It’s sad, but many companies set the “default” contribution rate for new employees at such a low level that the employee doesn’t get all the matching contribution they are entitled to. Don’t make that mistake!

     
- If you don’t have a retirement plan through work, or the plan doesn’t offer a match, the best first-step for new grads is to start saving via a Roth IRA. Again, you can set up a monthly transfer from a checking account into a Roth IRA investment account. Some discount brokerages, such as TDAmeritrade  don’t have a high minimum initial investment, so you can get started transferring say $100 or so a month into a Roth IRA. 

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Suze Orman is a award winning certified financial planner and author of several books including 'The Road to Wealth'. She went from being a waitress at age 30, making $400 a month, to now having her own TV show and a net worth of $30 million dollars.

Do you need to get Life Insurance - Suze Orman

Life insurance is such a difficult financial hurdle for so many of you. You’re either queasy about pondering the need for it in the first place, or you are rightfully queasy about getting taken by an agent selling you a way-too-expensive policy.

Okay, I am going to make this super clear and easy: Answer these five questions and you will know exactly what to do.:

1.    Is anyone dependent on your income? Such as a spouse, partner, child, parent, or sibling?

    No: You don’t need life insurance.
    Yes: Keep Reading

2.    Do you expect that you will need to provide that financial support forever-say for someone with special needs?

    Yes: I recommend you speak with a trusted insurance agent-ask friends and family for recommendations--about the need for a Permanent life insurance policy.

3.    Do you want to protect a dependent for a set period of years: say until a young child is an independent adult, or until your mortgage is paid off, so a spouse or partner would be protected? Or to cover a one-time expense such as college costs or funeral expenses?

    Yes: All you need is Term Life Insurance. Term insurance is very inexpensive, because it will be in place for just a set term-such as 10 or 20 years-not forever.

4. Do you want to make sure that in the event that you were to die prematurely your dependents would not have any financial worries?

Yes: Buy a term life insurance policy with a death benefit that is equal to at least 20 times your dependents annual income needs.

With such a large death benefit, your dependents will be able to invest the money very conservatively-say in high quality municipal bonds-and live off the income.

5. Are you okay with your annual insurance premium changing (becoming more expensive) every few years?

No: Of course you’re not!. Shop for a level premium term life insurance policy. And make sure it is guaranteed renewable as well. A guaranteed level term policy means that your annual premiums will never change, and that as long as you keep up the payments the policy will remain exactly as it was on the day you purchased it. You can shop online for term life insurance;

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Suze Orman is a award winning certified financial planner and author of several books including 'The Road to Wealth'. She went from being a waitress at age 30, making $400 a month, to now having her own TV show and a net worth of $30 million dollars.